Wake me up, today. Yesterday was bright, I laughed out loud and walked past the runway into uncharted territory. I stared at the fluff on a leave sprout and disected a flower. Found a bird feather on my way home and dreamed off a knecklace. I picked one daisy. But today I've scrubbed the windows, the floors, and doors. Weeded then scrubbed, ate some good kine grub. The day weighs 50lbs, quietness all around. Slow week, one son one father from Ohio. Monday today, I think. I pray for a break, so I can sleep and waste my time. Nah this girl is on the choppin block, every day got to mind the clock, proving that she's worth the pay. Not just make it, no, but succeed got to stand apart like Im worth my price in stock. Fuck that, self imposed slavery eh. Even on my hour(s) off I got myself pushing weights and ligaments to bend stretch pull. Pull ups till my joints are sore. I've lost track of time..but treasure the assurance of calendar dates. My body is eternally sore and my mind a sleepy stand in of itself. Today that is. Today. So what then..time to go run. Past the buildings and into the mist where adrenaline pulsates this body into recescitation. Go get free- run till mountains welcome and dogs follow you. Then you forget than anything exsists, except the sounds of the brook and the web of moss creating a universe below you. Yes, go go go go go...
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I repeated to myself 5 X "I am free" as I weeded the garden bed. My vision cleared a bit, but the fog sitting on my shoulders and pulling tight on my esophogaus remained. I dug my fingers into the dirt, fingernails shoveling roots. An enclave of plywood buildings surrounded me in a semi circle, the only proof of residence for hundreds of miles.
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In the loneliness of solitude, I find the prismatic nature of my own soul. I've remet myself in this confined space. Void of distraction, I'm left to explore what fuels me and the potent exlir that adjusting variables can create. I'm calculated, with a precision so intense, that I forgot this part of me exsisted. Is this a remodel or a uncovering of what has always been
Colors a flying flag
rippling and presenting
so plainly
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Regimint Oddity
5:3o am
Shower
6:00 am
Stretch\Meditate
6:2oam
In bed to visualie
6:25 am
Get ready and repeat mantras x5
6:32 am
Start work
Break
Computer .5
Workout 1.5 hrs
After work
8:00pm after dinner walk
8:30pm Read and Stretch
9:45 pm Sleep
Then repeat 7 x 12 weeks
= 10,000 (approx.)\ intimate self love affair\ closer then close coworkers\ exploration of the regiment realm
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Youse family, already. Quirks and all, I accept ya'll already.
