Oh 9-5. You repeat promises of, same place, same people, same thing. Excitement races when I clock in and out. Yet I find that as I clock in, I check out. Hours compact into days, I find myself decompressing weekends in late mornings- bed retreats. Dreaming only of more unscheduled time. I'm out of practice, and find myself feeling like an uninvested performer. I'm there, but just playing along. I calculate my paycheck to and from each job, estimating tax deductions. Comparing expenses, mental budgeting.My, is this adulthood's burden?
If the process of accumulating money will bring me things I need, when do I invest in what I want? Late night salsa, ocean swims, running with my dog, by god- the simple things. Yet those simple things are pushed back in replacement of schedules, bedtimes, obligations- I find myself in a stress tail spin. So can I tap out now, call "mercy", declare..I just ain't ready yet? For aching feet, swallowing dinner inbetween work tasks, management pressure, no time for laundry, too tired for a shower, recreation-priority: last.
And so- working moms, business owners, 50 hours + work week devotees, career minded folk, I bow to you . But I wonder, what you're made of. What you're thinking of when you wake on Tuesday morning, and what you feel like when you get into your car to head home on Friday. I wonder what you love, what you do when no one's watching, and when it's all said and done, if you're happy with the day. Foremost I wonder if I could be you for 20+ years. I see in your faces signs of soul exhaustion, slumped countenaces: I hear you grumble about the little things, overweight, annoyed, sensitive, reactive, apathetic, humorless. 9-5ers you wear more than responsibilitys weight, your a family's provider, a mortgage payer, looking to gain so you can give. I wonder if your investing all this time, so hopefully, one day you can live. And I wonder- what's the alternative?
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